I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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