I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
