he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
