I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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