Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
You dont lie about slip and slides
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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