Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
