physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
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