I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
