And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
