i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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