I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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