I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
