I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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