You made me cry and you don't even care
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
