I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
