New invention idea: vibrating tampons
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize