i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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