Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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