In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize