so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
