That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
