i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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