just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
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