some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Randomize
