I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
