there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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