So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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