That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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