those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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