The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
