It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
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I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
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Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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