my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
