Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
