I feel great
I just peed on a car
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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