Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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