Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
