I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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