I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
