i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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