Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
