Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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