Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
