Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
