with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Randomize
