u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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