Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize