I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
