Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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