I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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