SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
