glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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