I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
