I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize