I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
