I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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