you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
So much rum. So many feels.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
