guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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