I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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