grandma shit on top of the toilet
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
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