I wish life had little blips of pornography
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
